Sarah Vs Phase Three
by SicklyRaven
Summary: AU inspired by episode 409. What if she were too late? Story is finally COMPLETE.
1. Prologue

TITLE: Sarah vs Phase Three

CHARACTERS: Sarah, Chuck

GENRE: Drama, Romance

SPOILERS: up to 409 - Chuck Versus Phase Three

SUMMARY: What if she were too late?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Chuck - I guess that's why I'm writing fanfics instead of actual scripts, right? Okay, there's also the fact that no one would ever be so desperate to hire me...

* * *

She steps away from the record player and lets herself fall on the bed. There's a sort of tragical irony in her need to listen to a song about a new dawn, a new day, a new life in this particular moment, she's aware of that, but Nina Simone's voice seems to be the only thing that can make her feel slightly better lately. It reminds her of all the nights she spent in that very same bed, his arms wrapped around her, the music and the soft whisper of his breathing the only sounds she wanted to hear. And now... now she's lying there alone. Her eyes are burning from all the tears she cried and the nights she has spent awake, and every single bone of her body seems to have turned into a mere lump of pain after all the hitting and beating she has withstood, but the one thing that's really killing her is sorrow. Sorrow and guilt, actually. She knows that if she had come just a little earlier she could have made it. If only she hadn't wasted her time tending to her wounds after that fight, or eating a quick meal on that other moment... He would be okay now. He would be _there_.

Her sight blurs as a new bout of tears breaks through her eyes and her chest bursts into a sob; it's just a small one at first, quiet and cautious as a sentinel scouting around, but it's quickly followed by another, and another, and another, stronger and stronger, until she feels like they're about to overwhelm her. She never thought anyone could cry for so long without eventually running out of tears; still, there she is. She should get out of that room, try to think about something else, to move on... She can't keep going on like this, she knows it. She's going to drive herself crazy, or worse. But how can she do that? How can she move on from the best days of her life? How can she just pretend that he never happened? No, she'd rather let her sorrow eat her alive than forget about him.

With a soft scratch from the stylus the record stops spinning and the song ends. She barely notices it, anyway: she's too tired to even think of standing up so she simply lies there, her mind lost in the memories of the past days. More specifically, of that terrible day... Of the moment that has become the worst in her life.

_Her own voice crying out Chuck's name. The unnatural coldness of his cheeks in her hands. Morgan suggesting something that she knows to be right. Fear, tears, and regret. Her struggle to murmur those trembling words she has always wanted to tell him, but has never had the courage to say before. His lips, that after all they have been through still taste like home. And then, finally, his eyes opening..._

_"Who are you?" he asks._

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know, it's too cruel for Sarah to end it like this. I actually have a bunch of ideas to carry on with the story but I'm not going to start writing a longer fanfic if no one's interested in it. So just tell me what you think, if you like this I'll be more than glad to keep writing! ^^


	2. Chapter 1

TITLE: Sarah vs Phase Three

CHARACTERS: Sarah, Chuck

GENRE: Drama, Romance

SPOILERS: up to 409 - Chuck Versus Phase Three

SUMMARY: What if she were too late?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Chuck - I guess that's why I'm writing fanfics instead of scripts. Okay, there's also the fact that no one would ever be so desperate to hire me...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, I wanted to thank all of you guys for your amazing feedback - I was going to keep writing even if just one person had asked me to, and I definitely didn't expect so many people to like the idea and tell me about it! Thanks again. SO much. Hope the rest of the story lives up to your expectations... I know this part is a little lame, but I promise, more action is coming in the next chapter! Again, your opinions are much appreciated =]

* * *

_A dark underground cell. Two men sitting at a small table with a box on it. Words spoken in undertones, as if they didn't want anyone else to hear._

_"Right again. And what about... this woman?" Agent Evans takes another picture from the box - this time it's a quite good-looking brunette with a ponytail and a cruel look in her eyes._

_It takes a split second before Chuck replies, confidently: "Jill Roberts, code name Sand Storm, Fulcrum agent. She was arrested in 2008 by agents Walker and Casey but escaped some months later and her whereabouts are currently unknown."_

_Agent Evans smiles, satisfied. "Very good, Bartowski. It seems like you're able to flash again. I have to say, you got us a little worried when you didn't manage to identify the three agents that brought you here."_

_"I'm sorry, sir."_

_"It doesn't matter, you probably needed some time to start working. Even the finest machines can crash sometimes - after all your brain has suffered major damages." The handler stands up and takes off his jacket. "Now, let's see how rusty your kung fu is. Try to keep it under control this time, though."_

_"I.." Chuck starts to reply, but Evans interrupts him throwing a kick directly in his face. The Intersect is faster, though: before he can hit him, Chuck has already flashed, jumped out of his reach, and struck back, pushing Evans against the cell's transparent doors. When he tries to stand up, Chuck grabs him by the neck and crashes him against the opposite wall, where he lies semi-unconscious, gasping for air. Chuck smiles - he won. Once more._

_... And then it happens again. Every thought, every emotion seems to fade out and disappear - all that's left in him are the flashes the Intersect has shown him. Flashes to kill people. Evans is on the ground, so weak, so helpless... How easy would it be to break his neck!_

_Before he can make a move the door bursts open behind him. "What the hell is going on here?" a rough man's voice asks. Chuck doesn't even have to turn to know who the visitor is: the Intersect is already at work._

_Voice recognition: match... John Casey._

_

* * *

_

A persistent noise on the room's door gradually drags her out of her doze. She locked herself in, turned her cellphone off and even unplugged the TV to prevent the General from getting through to her - how can they not understand she doesn't want to see anyone?

The knocking grows louder.

"Please, leave me alone Morgan" she moans, hiding her head under the pillow.

It's Casey's voice to answer her from behind the door. "Let us in, Walker. We need to talk."

"Go away."

"Sarah, it's about Chuck" Morgan steps in. When she doesn't reply he adds: "He needs you."

The click of a key in the lock and the door opens. She's standing there, staring at them with eyes that the crying and the not sleeping have covered with a red veil of tears and tiredness. She knows her voice is going to tremble the whole time she'll try to talk and she hates to be seen like this, but she also knows that they're not going to leave until she answers something. "He doesn't" she mutters. "Chuck doesn't need me. How could he? He doesn't even know who I am anymore."

Morgan puts a gentle hand on her shoulder and gestures for her to sit on the bed. She puts up no resistance - although she'd never admit it to herself, she's relieved of having her team around. They make her feel less out of her element, less alone. If only the one member of the team she needs the most were there too...

"I know you must be very upset right now, because... well, I am too" Morgan begins to say. "All this story with Chuck losing his memory... It's not easy. For any of us."

"I just... I can't believe he's gone" she sobs weakly. "Everything that he felt, everything that he was... It's _gone_. He's nothing but the Intersect now."

A grunt from Casey. "That's the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Sarah..." starts Morgan, but Casey interrupts him: "They're going to get rid of Chuck. Terminate him."

"What?" Her voice trembles, this time not with sadness but with fear and astonishment. "Why, why would they do that?"

Casey shrugs. "It's just as you said. He's nothing but the Intersect - they have no idea how to control him. Not once he's flashed. He almost killed his handler last night."

"_Chuck_ almost killed someone?" She can't believe it. True, she knew he's not really Chuck anymore, but one thing is knowing it, another trying to imagine it. She can't.

"Trust me, I know what I'm saying. I'm the one who had to stop him, and it's a fight I'd rather not take again."

A dreadful coldness falls upon Sarah, causing her to shiver. So is this how it ends for Chuck? After all he's done for them, for the country, they're going to execute him like this, just because he's not under their control anymore? And what about her - is she supposed to mourn him and move on, to carry on with her spy life as nothing ever happened? Well, that's not going to happen, she decides. If they want to kill Chuck, they're going to have to take her down with him. There's a part of her, she suddenly realizes, that has never given up on him, that has always believed her Chuck is not gone forever. And that part has finally taken over her.

"Then I guess I'll have to rescue him" she states simply, standing up. For the first time since Chuck was captured she feels calm, perfectly in control of her emotions. Casey's words haven't scared her - how could she be afraid of Chuck, her Chuck? Plus, Casey said the problem is the Intersect. As long as Chuck doesn't flash, everything is going to be fine.

"Of course" Morgan agrees. "And we are going to help you."

She shakes her head. "I don't think so."

"It's not your decision, Walker" Casey intervenes. "You're the one in love with him, no argument on that, but Bartowski's part of the team, our team, and we're all going to save him. End of discussion."

"And then what?" Sarah turns to glare at him. "We all run away together? Rescuing a convict is treason, you know that.. We might all end up in jail. What about your jobs, what about Alex? Would you really give up on your lives for Chuck?"

Neither Casey nor Morgan replies. She's right, as much as they care about Chuck there's other people they need to protect. She takes a deep breath before adding in a gentler tone: "I'm not going to save Chuck because I'm in love with him - I'm going to save him because if he's dead I won't have anyone else to live for. Unlike you two."

There's a long silence before Casey speaks again. "Fine" he finally accepts. "One condition: we'll stake out right outside the BuyMore. If you need someone to come save your necks, you give us a call."

"And the two best spies in Burbank will come to the rescue" Morgan adds, a grin on his face.

For the first time in days Sarah smiles, grateful. "Thank you."


	3. Chapter 2

TITLE: Sarah vs Phase Three

CHARACTERS: Sarah, Chuck

GENRE: Drama, Romance

SPOILERS: up to 409 - Chuck Versus Phase Three

SUMMARY: What if she were too late?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Chuck - I guess that's why I'm writing fanfics instead of scripts. Okay, there's also the fact that no one would ever be so desperate to hire me...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm not dead! Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, real life has been getting in the way a whole lot lately and as you can see, the chapter is much longer than the first two (apologies for that as well, I didn't realize it was going to turn out so bloody long when I planned it ^^') I also found out I really suck at writing action - please don't be too harsh! On the upside, we finally get some interaction between our favorite couple... ;] Let me know what you think!

* * *

_"So, what did the doctors say? How is Chuck?" The concern in Sarah's voice is palpable. She hasn't heard anything about his conditions in two days, since Casey, Morgan and her came back from Thailand with a very disoriented Chuck, and although she's done her best to hide her anxiety she cannot wait any longer. She needs to know what's going on._

_A frowning Beckman sighs sympathetically from behind the monitor. "The results of the tests just came out and I'm afraid they are not very reassuring. The damages Chuck's brain has endured seem to be irreversible."_

_Tears start tickling the corners of Sarah's eyes and she tries to fight them back. She has felt this was going to happen since the moment he opened his eyes and didn't recognized her - but now, hearing someone say it out loud, knowing once and for all that every hope was in fact a hopeless dream... It feels like her whole world is collapsing and crushing upon her._

_"There is a silver lining, though" the General adds. "The Intersect seems to be functioning once again. This means we can still use Chuck for missions on the field, and your team does not have to be dismantled."_

_Sarah stares at her for a long time, unable to say anything. Seriously? _Use_ Chuck? Who the hell the General thinks she's talking to? "And you call that a silver lining?" she finally replies, her voice bitter. "You just told me that Chuck is gone forever, and you expect me to care about the Intersect? What's the problem with you people?" She's aware that the volume of her voice has been growing so much as she was speaking that she's now actually yelling at the general, and she's also aware that all the other spies in the room have turned to look at her in astonishment, but she doesn't care. She's sick and tired of all of them, of how they see Chuck as nothing but an asset and expect her to do the same. "He's not just your damn computer, okay? He's a _person_, and you stupid jerks have no right to..."_

_"Enough!" the General shouts, shutting her up. "I understand how hard the situation can be for you, Agent Walker, but this doesn't give you the right to talk to your superior like that." She sighs. "I'm afraid I'll have to assign Chuck to a different handler. Clearly, you are too upset to be able to work efficiently in the Intersect project."_

_Sarah glares at her with ice cold eyes. "Don't worry, I wasn't going to anyway. I'm out of here."_

_

* * *

_

_She turns her back to the monitor and walks away, trying to ignore the half dozen spies whispering behind her back and stabbing her with reproving looks. Only once she's out of Castle and the cold air of the November's night strikes her she allows herself to burst into tears._

Sneaking into Castle turns out to be easier than Sarah had expected. Obviously, Beckman didn't take her resignation seriously because the security system still recognizes her eyeball. The door closes behind her and the darkness of Castle swallows her. She takes a deep breath, trying to soothe her heart that's beating like crazy with adrenaline. She hasn't felt this way since the night she decided she couldn't lie to Chuck anymore and went off grid with him to look for his father. Once again, she's betraying the agency for him - only, this time their roles seem to be reversed: she is sure she's in love with him, and she is pretty sure he, on the other hand, doesn't love her anymore. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

"Okay, Casey, I'm in" she murmurs to her earpiece. "And it's weird, there seems to be no one inside."

"Hm..." he mumbles in response. "They wouldn't leave Castle without any surveillance. Keep your eyes open."

"Got it."

She comes down the stairs slowly, as quiet and stealth as she can. All the lights are off, but the main room is still brightened by the pale glow of a monitor. Casey was right, there is someone inside the base; she cannot see them well from the pillar behind which she's hiding, but it looks like a young woman. Luckily for Sarah, she seems to be too focussed on whatever she's doing with the computer to look around.

Quick and silent as a shadow, Sarah creeps behind her, her gun ready to shoot if the unknown spy were to turn and see her, and in just a few seconds she's reached the detention area. _Now, where are you Chuck?_

It doesn't take her long to find him - ironically enough, in the same cell where his mother was kept what seems like ages ago. He's lying on a bench on the side of the cell that's opposite to the door, his legs bent to not jut out. Seeing him like this breaks Sarah's heart. There are a few bruises on his arms and face, probably consequences of the fight with Casey, and the shadow of a beard dims his chin, sign that he hasn't shaved in some days. Still, what truly strikes her are his eyes: they're not the charming, honest, affectionate eyes of her Chuck anymore - no, they look so distant now, as if there were no soul behind them. _This is all my fault_, she thinks._ I told him he isn't a spy without the Intersect and walked away from him when he most needed me. And now he is the one paying for my mistakes._

"Hey" he addresses her as she enters the cell, without even diverting his gaze from the ceiling.

She takes a step closer, fighting the urge to run to him and kiss him and hug him and tell him he'll be safe, she's here now... All it could do would be convince him once and for all that she's crazy, and she definitely doesn't need any more complications. Instead, she says gently: "Chuck... I'm Sarah."

"I know" is the unexpected reply. When she furrows her brow Chuck turns to look at her and explains: "CIA Agent Sarah Walker. I flashed on your photo. You were also part of the rescue team that brought me back here, right?"

Damn. For a single, wonderful second she had almost believed that Chuck's memories had come back in some way. "Right" she confirms.

"And you seemed pretty upset when I couldn't remember who you were."

There is no mischief in his voice, it sounds like a plain affirmation, but she can't help feeling her own cheeks go on fire. Was she really so obvious? "Well, you see..."

"I'm sorry I couldn't flash" he interrupts her. "I understand that being my previous handler you must have been disappointed. But like they probably told you, I'm working perfectly now. Well, kinda."

Sarah can't hide an annoyed sigh. Why does everyone think the Intersect is so important to her? She's starting to hate the stupid computer. But as much as she'd like to tell Chuck the truth, she knows there's no time for that, so she just replies: "I heard. But actually, the Intersect isn't the reason why I'm here."

He throws her a puzzled look. "What else could you be here for?"

She takes a deep breath. She wish she could find better words to say it, but some facts are just too horrible to be told nicely. "Chuck, they're going to kill you." He sits up straight as she utters these words. "They think the Intersect is too dangerous, the General has shut down the project."

She's surprised to see more amazement than fear in his eyes. "What does it mean?" he asks.

"It means that we have to run. Now."

He just sits there, looking at the ground.

"Now, Chuck" she repeats. "Someone could get here any minute."

He still doesn't move. "Why would I come?" he finally asks.

"Why..." Sarah can't believe her ears. "Did you even hear what I said? They're going to _kill_ you. You can't stay here!"

"I heard you." He's looking right into her eyes now, and she can barely stand his hollow stare. "I heard you, and that's why I'm not coming. I was built to help people, to make their lives easier, and if I can't do that anymore... if I'm a _threat_ now... they might as well take me down."

"That's what _the Intersect_ was built for" she points out frantically. "It has nothing to do with you, you're not just an Intersect!"

"Oh, yes I am. I am now."

_Calm down, Sarah_, she says to herself. Chuck's words seem to be trying to uproot the fragile bud of hope she's been struggling to keep alive up to this point and she cannot allow that to happen. _Just get him out of here, you'll have all the time to change his mind later_, she decides.

"Okay, maybe you're right" she pretends to surrender. "But don't you think the General is making a rush decision? She has believed the Intersect was out of control before, and we always proved her wrong. You're too valuable to give up on you so soon." _And I mean you, Chuck - you. Screw the Intersect_.

"Really?"

Sarah smiles. It's working! "Really. So, here's the plan: we run away, stay hidden for a while, and once we are sure the Intersect is working perfectly we'll come back and show the General, and she'll have to restore the operation. Are you with me?"

Chuck stands up and nods. "I am." Maybe it's just her, but for a second Sarah thinks she saw a faint smile curve his lips.

They exit the cell and head soundlessly toward Castle's central room. It strikes Sarah how furtive Chuck can be; she's always been pretty good at spotting people who are following her, and yet she has trouble hearing his steps behind her. If she didn't know he was there, he could take her by surprise hands down. The thought gives her a chill. Just how much has he changed?

As they get to the central room she notices the whole place is buried in darkness: the spy who was there just a few minutes ago must have finished her work and left. Sarah frowns. Chuck's hesitancy apart, this rescue mission is being way easier than she had expected and she's not sure it's a good thing. Being a spy has taught her something: you are never too suspicious.

"What's wrong?" Chuck's voice asks from some point in the darkness behind her.

"Nothing, it's just... " She shrugs. "Nothing. Stay close."

They go up the stairs and finally come to Buy More. The place is kinda creepy so late at night, with its pale lights and desert aisles, but at least they're sure no one will be around. Or that's what she thought. They have just reached the Nerd Herd's desk when Sarah hears some footsteps coming from behind a shelf. Getting louder - getting closer.

"Quick, hide!" she hisses, dragging Chuck behind the desk with her. He might be stronger and faster than her now, but she doesn't think she'll ever stop being protective of him.

"Who is it?" he asks in a whisper.

Suddenly he's so close that she can feel his breath tickling her neck. God knows how much she missed that... how much she'd like to just close her eyes and rest her head on his shoulder... She quickly confines that thought in one remote corner of her mind and forces herself to focus. "I don't know" she answers. She seriously doubts any of the Buy More employees would work overtime, and the chance of a robbery in the store the same night she is helping Chuck to evade seems too absurdly coincidental to even be considered. So it must be another spy. For a second she hopes it's Morgan or Casey, come to check how she is, but she immediately realizes they would have contacted her through her earpiece first.

In that very moment, a shadow creeps carefully near the desk. Sarah can only see it for a second, but she could swear it's a woman in a Nerd Herd outfit - moreover, the same woman she saw in Castle. _Maybe the new Greta?_ she guesses.

"Hm... Agent Walker?" Chuck's voice sounds worried, something she wouldn't have expected from him at this point. "I think we might have a problem."

"What do you mean?"

He answers in an undertone: "I flashed on that woman, she's not one of us, she's some sort of mercenary. What can she be doing here?"

It takes Sarah a split second to find the answer to that question._ The computer._ "Casey?" she calls through her earpiece. "Casey, we have a situation here. You have to capture the nerd herder that's exiting the Buy More, I'm pretty sure she's been stealing intel from us. Casey can you hear me?"

There's no reply.

"Damn" she curses. It looks like it's up to her to fix it. "Look" she turns to Chuck, "I'm going after her. Whatever happens, you stay here, okay?"

"Are you sure? I think I could handle it pretty good. According to my handler, kung fu is one of the finest functions on the Intersect and I should use it as much as I can."

_My handler_. Jealousy pokes her as she hears these two words. Jealousy and a vague nostalgia for the time when _she_ was his handler, the only spy he was able to trust. "And look how that worked out" she argued. "Trust me, it's better if you don't do anything. I wouldn't know what to do if you flashed and couldn't keep it under control."

He doesn't seem convinced, nevertheless he just says: "Fine."

Without wasting any more time, Sarah steps away from the Nerd Herd's desk and chases the woman, who by then has reached the parking lot outside the store. She's walking much faster now that she isn't afraid of being spotted by someone or taped by a surveillance camera, and Sarah has to run to reach her.

"Freeze!" she commands, pulling out her gun.

The woman stops and turns slowly, her hands up. She's wearing sunglasses and on her black skirt is clipped a tag with the name _Greta_. "What?" she asks in an annoyed tone.

Sarah takes a step closer, the gun still pointed at her. "What were you doing in there?"

"I think the better question is what _you_ were doing there, Agent Walker. But I already know the answer. Where's your boyfriend?"

She swallows nervously. _If Chuck was wrong about her, we're going to be in trouble._ "I know you're not CIA. And I'm only going to ask once more: what were you doing in there?"

"Looks like you already know, or you wouldn't have rushed after me like this." Greta smiles smugly. "The people I work for needed some information of yours, and they gave me a lot of money to get them. So? We both know you're not going to arrest me, right? You're not willing to go back and be arrested for treason just to take me in, are you?"

Sarah doesn't move. She knows Greta is right, saving both Chuck and the intel is going to be tough, but as unpleasant as it might be she can still see a way out. "I guess I'm going to have to kill you, then."

Unexpectedly, Greta laughs. "Wow, you are a bad ass, Walker. But, you see, that's not going to happen either - because if you shoot me, my partner there" - she nods in the direction of a man standing a few meters away - "is going to do the same to your friends."

Only then Sarah notices Casey and Morgan, hands tied behind their backs. She's screwed.

"So, what about you stop being so tiresome and let us go?"

"I..." she starts to say tentatively, when a well-known voice steps in: "Walker, what's going on?"

Chuck's suddenly by her side. In a normal situation she would be more than glad to have him help her, but right now she feels he's only going to make things worse. "Chuck, what are you doing here? I told you to stay in the store!"

He ignores her and turns to Greta: "Look, I'm not supposed to hurt you so I'm going to give you a chance: I'm going to count to three, and when I'm done you and your partner better have surrendered. Okay? One..."

"Are you insane?" Greta laughs nervously. She seems worried. How can an unarmed man threaten her when she's holding two of his companions as hostages?

"... two..."

Sarah is way more concerned than her, anyway. If Chuck flashes, he will most likely go wild and she doesn't know if she could handle it. Most of all, she doesn't know if she could stand to see him like that.

"... and three. Don't say you hadn't been warned."

"Chuck, don't!" Sarah cries out. Too late: he's already flashing, she can see it from his eyes, and only a few seconds later he attacks Greta's accomplice. The man raises his gun, but even with a weapon he's no match for Chuck: it takes a single, swift hit to disarm him, and only a second kick to knock him out. It doesn't seem to be enough for Chuck, though. As if he weren't even hearing the man surrender and beg for mercy, he lifts him and punches him in the face, once, twice, ignoring Casey's bidding to stop and Morgan's shocked protests. Suddenly it's clear for Sarah why the general decided to get rid of him - it seems like no one could stop him. The Intersect told him to kill and he's going to do it. Still, she's the one who made this mess and she's the one who's going to have to clean it up.

"Don't move" she hisses to Greta, and runs to the fight. "Chuck!" she shouts. "Chuck, stop it! You're going to kill him!"

As expected, he doesn't pay attention to her. Only when she reaches him and grasps his arm he turns to look at her, his eyes even more empty and emotionless than before. Meeting that look is as painful as a stab right into her heart, and for a few seconds the only thing she can think about is how much she wishes the Belgian was there. Being arrested isn't nearly as harsh as a punishment he'd deserve for what he did to the man she loves.

"Chuck" she calls softly, a faint tremble in her voice, "it's okay, we got him. There's no need to kill him."

He stands there without a word, breathing heavily, his eyes still fixed in hers.

"It's okay, Chuck" she repeats. "Just let him go, okay?"

"I... I can't" he sobs. "Please go away. I don't... I don't want to hurt you."

Only then it dawns on Sarah how hard he's struggling to fight the Intersect, to emerge from the flashes that are trying to overwhelm him. Chuck's mind is not gone, it just seems to be buried under something too big and strong for him to take over. "I'm not going anywhere" she states.

"_Please_. I can't fight it anymore!" he claims, his voice even more desperate.

"Yes you can" she encourages him in a whisper, taking his head in her hands. "I know you can. Trust me, Chuck, it's all going to be okay." She strokes his cheek, tender and delicate. "I'm not going to leave you alone. Ever. Do you hear me? Ever."

"I'm scared" he admits, and chuckles with no joy. "That's crazy, isn't it? How can a computer even be scared?"

"You're not just a computer" she argues. "You're Chuck, you're a person. And you have nothing to be scared of - I know you can make it."

He nods slightly, a grimace of pain on his face. He's doing his best to win the battle against the Intersect, and that's enough for Sarah to start hoping again. There's a part of him that's still human, and that part won't give up without a fight.

She's still lingering on that thought when out of the blue Chuck bursts into tears and, even more unexpectedly, folds her in his arms. Her first instinct is to withdraw, but instead of listening to it she reciprocates the hug, holding Chuck tight in her arms. "You made it, Chuck" she murmurs in his ear, radiant. "You made it.

* * *

"I have to say, your report is quite... astonishing, Agent Walker." Beckman casts her an eloquent look from behind her glasses. "What you just did..."

"I know, General. And I'm really sorry for it, I just..." She tries to find a good excuse, fails, and just says: "I guess I didn't realize how bad the situation actually was."

Beckman sighs, annoyed. "Let me finish, Walker. What I was going to say is that you proved once more to be the only one who is able to handle the Intersect."

Sarah can't believe her ears. "Excuse me, General?"

"You had no right to do what you did tonight" Beckman carries on. "Nevertheless, it turned out to be the right choice. Not only you managed to make the Intersect work with no additional harm, but you were also able to capture the mercenary agents who were stealing from us."

"Actually" Sarah points out, "one of them escaped. And she was the one with the stolen intel."

The General smiles in a smug way. "Thanks to Chuck's flash, we managed to track the location where she was supposed to meet her buyers. Colonel Casey is on his way to arrest her."

Sarah nods, relieved. She has been feeling a little guilty for letting Greta escape, even though she hadn't had a choice.

"So, would you like to come back to work on the Intersect project?" Beckman asks.

"Yes" she accepts without hesitation. "Yes, of course... Thank you so much, General."

"It's not a favor" Beckman highlights. "You understand how delicate the situation is. Chuck is more unstable than ever. It is crucial that nothing messes up with his emotions, or else he'll become a threat and nothing will save him from being terminated. Are we clear?"

"Yes." She won't let anyone or anything expose Chuck to this risk.

"Good. Now, I believe Chuck wanted to talk to you..."

She finds him back in his cell. At least the door's not locked this time, she notices with some sort of solace. The idea of Chuck being forced to live in a tiny dark cell is already bad enough without him being treated like a convict as well.

"Hello, Walker" he welcomes her, a little nervous.

A little sigh of annoyance escapes her. "Please, enough with this - you never called me Walker before. "

"Okay... Sarah" He seems to savor the name, as if for some reason he doesn't know he actually missed saying it. "I... just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for risking your life to help me. And you were right, I should never have followed you outside the Buy More."

"It's okay Chuck." She smiles. "After all, you saved the day... I'm not sure what would have happened to us if you hadn't stepped in."

He smiles back. "I'm guessing you'd have found a way out of it that didn't involve going crazy and almost killing someone."

"Chuck, you did a great job... And I'm not the only one saying it. You even won Beckman's approval!"

His eyes light up as he hears her words, a sight that makes Sarah beam. He may still not remember anything about his life before Thailand, but at least it looks like his emotions are all back. "Wait, are you saying the General doesn't want me dead anymore?"

"Yes. You'll be back on the field as soon as you're ready." After a brief pause she adds: "There is one bad news as well, though... You're going to be stuck working with me."

If possible, her words seem to make him even happier. "Really? I mean," he quickly adds, trying to conceal his excitement, "it's not bad news at all. We're a pretty good team, I dare say."

She smiles. "That we are."

They stay like that for a while, just looking at each other, until eventually Chuck breaks the silence. "Sarah... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You know, I was thinking..." He takes a breath. All of a sudden he looks extremely uncomfortable. "Well... it's kinda weird that you went so far in order to save me. I mean, you risked your life for me a fine bunch of times today... Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate it, it's just... Why would you do that?"

She furrows her brow. "Sorry, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying." She does, actually, but a part of her is hoping so desperately that she is wrong.

"Right, I'm sorry." He's silent for a little while, looking for the right words to say. "Who am I to you?" he finally asks, not daring look at her. "Like, how was our relationship before... before Thailand, before I lost my memory?"

She was right. And in the exact moment she realizes this, she also realizes why she didn't want him to ask her that - _it is crucial that nothing messes up with his emotions_, Beckman said. And now she knows what she meant. _Back off. We don't know how Chuck would react if such a bomb as your relationship was dropped on him_. And as much as Sarah wishes she could ignore her orders and just be honest to Chuck, she knows it wouldn't do him any good. Her priority is to protect him now, and the first person she needs to protect him from is herself.

She chews nervously on her lower lip. "You know... I've been your handler for over three years, it's normal to develop an attachment." Self-loathing swamps her as she utters these words. "I care about you. So much" she specifies, in an attempt to hide something true amongst all the lies she's forced to tell him. "We were friends."

Chuck nods. "I see. Well, I guess I'm lucky to have friends like you."

She smiles. _I don't care how, I'll bring your memory back, Chuck. I promise._


	4. Chapter 3

TITLE: Sarah vs Phase Three

CHARACTERS: Sarah, Chuck

GENRE: Drama, Romance

SPOILERS: up to 409 - Chuck Versus Phase Three

SUMMARY: What if she were too late?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Chuck - I guess that's why I'm writing fanfics instead of scripts. Okay, there's also the fact that no one would ever be so desperate to hire me...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just a quick clarification: the part in italics is supposed to happen right after Sarah's argument with Beckman - therefore before her rescue mission in Castle and before her reunion with Chuck and reconciliation with the CIA. She's not schizophrenic or anything. We get to see things mostly from Chuck's PoV in this chapter but don't worry, Sarah will be back as the main character very soon. Oh and a character some of you asked about is finally guest starring... ;D Remember to review!

_

* * *

Maybe it's true, it never rains but it pours. As Sarah gets to the courtyard, distraught, wishing so badly that she could just be alone, Ellie's voice calls her._

_"Sarah, thank God!" She's sitting near the fountain, her cellphone in one hand, the look on her face worried and relieved at the same time. "Do you know where Chuck is? I haven't seen him in days and I can't get through to him."_

_Sarah freezes. She totally forgot about her. How could she? Of course Ellie was going to be worried about his brother! The last time she saw him was... Sarah can't remember. A very long time ago, anyway, before he left for Switzerland. What excuse can she possibly come up with to justify his disappearance? Furthermore, does she really want to find an excuse? After all Ellie is Chuck's _sister_. It's incredibly wrong that a bunch of shallow spies who barely know Chuck's name can know where he is and she cannot. Maybe Sarah should be honest with her._

_She doesn't have much time to consider her options, anyway, because Ellie stands up and comes closer to her - close enough to see her reddened eyes and the traces of the tears she's been crying just minutes ago. She takes a step back, horrified. "Sarah... Where is Chuck?"_

Beckman is going to kill me if I tell her_, Sarah predicts. Strangely enough, the thought makes her want to tell Ellie the truth even more. If they don't care about protecting the one person she can't do without, well, then she doesn't care about protecting their secrets. "He's gone" she answers, the world blurring behind her tears._

_..._

"Hey, my favorite partner's back!" Chuck exclaims, his eyes sparkling with glee at the sight of Sarah. He spends most of his time in the darkness but whenever she comes to visit him his cell feels a lot brighter and warmer. "So, who's the president?"

He asks her the same question every time and he'd expect Sarah to be tired of the joke by now; instead, she seems to find it funnier day after day. It's become some sort of inside joke between the two of them. "You know Chuck, usually presidents tend to not change overnight" she replies in a chuckle. "But don't worry, I'm sure you'll find what I brought you almost as interesting as that." She gestures at someone who was probably waiting outside and two people enter the cell. One is Morgan, his former best friend, whom he has already met (well, actually re-met) on the night he and Sarah tried to escape. The other one is an unknown, _pregnant_ woman.

Chuck casts a confused look at Sarah. _Who on earth is she? _When Sarah smiles encouragingly at him, however, he calms down a little. Sarah's the one who brought the young woman here, and she surely knows what she's doing.

"Hm... " The woman clears her throat. She seems as uneasy around him as he is around her - and he's not sure whether it's a good or a bad thing. "Hello, Chuck."

"Hi" he replies. And right after, to prevent an uncomfortable silence from falling upon them: "I'm sorry, I have no idea who you are."

Probably not the best thing to say - the woman looks terribly hurt as she hears that. _Mistake_. At least when he met Sarah he knew she was a spy and her former handler; now he has no idea who this woman is, what her relationship to him is, and therefore how to act. He notices the wedding ring on her finger and shivers. _What if she was my pregnant wife or something?_

Only seconds later, though, the woman manages to hide her frustration and nods. "I know, Sarah told me about... your memory loss." She sighs and takes a step closer to him. "I'm Ellie. Your sister" she explains.

Nope, the name doesn't ring a bell. But after all she is not in the Intersect, he can't expect to flash on it. "I see." He tries to smile at her, with poor results. "Nice to re-meet you, Ellie. I really wish I could remember you."

For some reason this statement seems to pain her even more than his previous ones. "Why did you lie to me?" she asks in a faint voice, and after a first attempt to fight the tears she surrenders to them and her resentment. "You told me you had quit!" she bursts out. "Why did you lie to me, Chuck? Why?" She turns to Sarah, distressed, and apologizes: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just can't do this." Without adding anything else she rushes out, quickly followed by Morgan.

"I'll take care of her" he reassures Sarah just before exiting the cell, and she answer with a nod, still a little astonished by the sudden twist of events. She obviously didn't expect such a reaction from Ellie.

The last to expect that was Chuck, anyway. "What the hell just happened?" he asks, more confused and worried than ever. _When did I lie to her?_ he wonders, once again hating himself for not being able to remember a single fact from his previous life.

Sarah comes to sit next to him. "I'm sorry" she apologizes. "It was a terrible idea to bring her here. I just hoped..." Her voice fades.

"You hoped what?" he encourages her.

She sighs. "I hoped seeing her would help you remember."

"Right." He diverts his gaze from hers. "You know, I'm starting to think I never will. My memory won't come back. And what sucks is that now I really want to remember... I want to remember everything about my previous life and my family and my friends and you... " He stops, embarrassed. Where did that 'and you' come from? Couldn't he simply include her in his friends?

Luckily, she doesn't seem to notice that. "Don't lose your hope, Chuck" she murmurs. "It will all be okay."

He nods, wishing so badly he could believe that. "What was Ellie talking about?" he asks after a while. "You know, when she got mad at me... She said I lied to her. Do you know...?"

"You promised her you wouldn't be a spy anymore" Sarah explains. "She wanted you to be safe, and... well, you know that spy business is anything but safe. But you had to start spying again, to find your mum and..."

"Hold on, hold on. What does my mum have to do with spies?"

Sarah giggles. "Sorry, I'm going too fast. I just don't know where to start, there's a ton of stuff you should know before that."

"What about you start from the beginning?" he suggests. "I mean, I don't even knew I had a sister ten minutes ago and I still have no idea how is it that I'm the only spy to have this super secret computer in their brain. You, on the other hand, seem to know _a lot_ about me and who I was. And you're the only one who can spend more than five minutes with me without getting incredibly uncomfortable or... starting to yell at me. If there's someone who can give me answers, that's you." He takes a deep breath. "So, Sarah Walker... will you be my memory?"

She smiles. "It'd be a honor - although I must warn you, it might take a long while."

"I'm pretty confident that being a sort of convict I have a full schedule" he kids. "But I guess I can find some time for you."

Her smile turns into a wide grin. His ability to joke even about the worst things that happen to him is one of the million reasons why she fell for him in the first place. "I'm really flattered, Agent Carmichael. Now, shut up and listen..."

...

Chuck finishes to read the last page and puts the dossier away. It was Sarah who suggested he read all the reports on their past missions so that he could have a more detailed picture of them, and even though Casey's essential writing isn't nearly as enjoyable as Sarah's stories it has turned out to be useful indeed and also pretty interesting. Plus, up to now Sarah has always seemed more than glad to answer any of his questions about them.

Sarah. The left corner of his mouth curls in a half smile as he thinks of her. For the hundredth time he tries to remember something, _anything_ about her - what she was wearing during their first fake date, what they talked about - details he didn't dare asking her, of course. Nothing to do, every moment they shared seems to have been wiped out from his mind. He sighs, frustrated, and can't help feeling like a fool. After all he has been able to have a fake relationship with Sarah without falling for her for almost four years... Why can't he get his mind off of her now?

He grabs the report again and starts flicking through it distractedly. It's about a mission of three years ago: him, Sarah and Casey arrested an evil former gymnast who used some poisonous derivative of pentothal as a truth serum. As crazy as the whole story sounds, however, what has struck Chuck about it is that apparently he refused to drink the only antidote they had at first and instead gave it to Ellie, who had been poisoned too and was very close to death. _I must have really cared about her_, he thinks with a vague feeling of loss. Sarah has highlighted the deepness of their bond in more than an occasion too - and the more he knows about it, the more he understands Ellie's desperation the day she came to visit him. After all he lied to her - to her _alone_, the person that he used to trust the most, and she turned out to be right, considering that because of the spy world she has now lost his brother. He wishes he could talk to her again so badly, but even Sarah seems to have reservations about that. And as long as no one grants Ellie access to his cell again, there's no way he can see her.

Or is there? Ultimately, he isn't locked in anymore. People can't enter Castle easily, but he shouldn't have any problem getting out of it - and, once he's out, going to his former home in Echo Park, meeting Ellie, and getting back as nothing happened. Sarah has already visited him today, so there's no risk she'll come to his cell and find it empty. No one will ever find out.

_Okay, time to evade_, he decides. _Again_.

...

It takes Chuck longer than he had expected to get to the right address - apparently road map and public transportation schedules are not amongst the functions of the Intersect -, but when he finally comes to the courtyard he can't mistake it: it's identical to the description Casey gave in one of his first Intersect project reports. The only problem is that Chuck has no idea what house is Ellie and Devon's, and he'd rather avoid knocking the wrong door and having to explain Casey what he's doing there.

For once he's lucky, anyway, because while he's still trying to figure out what the right house might be Ellie herself shows up, coming out of one of the doors. She almost drops the bag she's holding when she sees him. "Chuck!"

"Hey Ellie" he greets her. "Do you have a few minutes?"

It takes her a bunch of seconds to reply - seeing him so suddenly must have confused her, but at least she doesn't seem so angry with him anymore. "... Sure" she agrees. "Do you want to come inside? Devon's home, though, so if you want to talk to me in private..."

"Out here is fine." Chuck sits near the fountain and after an initial hesitancy Ellie joins him.

"Look..." he begins to say, but she immediately interrupts him: "I'm sorry Chuck. I really am. I shouldn't have got so mad at you. Actually, I don't even know _why_ I got mad... Maybe it's the pregnancy, I've been really hormonal later. And seeing you like that... closed up in an underground cell..." She shakes her head. "I don't know, I guess it was too much."

"Ellie..."

"But that's no excuse" she carries on. "You must be way more shocked than me right now, and you certainly don't need my neurosis to add to your misery. So, once again: I'm sorry. I should never have asked Sarah to let me see you, I clearly wasn't ready for it."

He smiles. All of a sudden he thinks he knows why he loved her so much. "I actually came here to tell you that _I_ am sorry. I still can't remember anything, but Sarah told me how I lied to you... And now I see it was a terrible idea - not to start spying again, but to keep you in the dark like that. And I know, I'm embarrassingly late, but I really need to tell you this right now." He looks in her eyes, serious, before announcing: "Ellie, I'm spying again. I know I promised you I'd quit, but I needed to find out the truth about our mum. And... to be completely honest, I love being a spy. I know it can be dangerous, and I know you want to keep me safe, but that's who I am - and want to be. And I'd rather risk my life than waste it doing something that doesn't matter to me."

Ellie stays silent for a while, an unreadable look in her face, then nods slowly. "Okay."

"Sorry, what?" Chuck can't believe his ears. True, he doesn't really know her anymore, but from what he saw and heard she seemed a little overprotective. That's why he lied to her in the first place, isn't it? How can she be okay with his choice then?

Ellie just shrugs. "You're an adult Chuck, I think you have the right to make your own decisions. Plus... I don't know if you remember it, but you saved our lives in Costa Gravas thanks to your spy training... and I felt horrible after that. You seemed so content, so alive, and I had forced you to quit." She pauses for a second, as if lost in some thought of hers, then carries on: "I think I understood back then that being a spy is the right choice for you. Yes, it's dangerous and yes, I'd rather know you're home, safe, but I know you're doing this for yourself and Sarah and me and all the people you love, so... I'm actually proud of you, little brother."

Chuck's mouth curves into a broad smile. "Thank you, Sis" he says, overwhelmed by her affection.

She looks at him in astonishment. "Did you just call me 'Sis'?"

"I.. guess" he confirms. "Whatever that means."

Ellie chuckles and without wasting time on any explanation she throws her arms around him. He reciprocates the hug, suddenly feeling completely at ease around her - after all they've been each other's only home for so long... And if he still can't remember anything about that time, it doesn't mean he can't understand how much they mean to each other. More importantly, it seems to him that he can finally _feel_ it: feel that she cares so much about him, and him about her; feel that no matter what happens they'll always be able to find solace and sympathy in each other.

Only after a long time Ellie breaks the hug to look at him. Her eyes are a little teary, but this time she's smiling. She hasn't been crying out of sadness or frustration - as a matter of fact it's the other way round, she seems so happy and grateful to have him back. "So" she starts off, drying her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, "how are things? Are you remembering anything?"

He shakes his head. "No. Sarah's been talking to me a lot and I read some reports for missions I went on, but... It looks like my memory is gone for good."

"I don't think so" Ellie argues. "Yesterday I may have believed you, but after what happened today I can't. It's just like Sarah told me: you don't really remember anything specific, but sometimes you just... seem to know things no one told you, or make reference to stuff you couldn't possibly have heard about after you lost your memory. Trust me, there is still hope." She frowns, thoughtful. "Maybe we've been doing this all wrong" she finally suggests. "You seem to have been filled in on your spy life pretty well, but you've been a spy for a very small part of your life. Maybe it'll take something more... personal, something more intimate to trigger your memory."

"It does make sense" he admits. "What do you have in mind?"

She shakes her head, slowly. "I don't really know. Wait... What about your home? All of your old stuff is there. Maybe you can find something that can help you."

"Really?"

"I can't say for sure, but giving it a try can't do you any harm. Besides" she adds with a smirk, "you won't have any trouble getting in the house. Morgan always leaves his key under the doormat."

"Are you sure _I_ am the spy in the family?" Chuck laughs. "Well, thanks for the advice. I'll give it a look."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Ellie asks.

"No, it's okay. I've already stolen you from your husband long enough for today."

She nods. "Okay. But if you need anything just ask - I'm sure Devon won't mind working out on his own for a while."

They hug once more, this time only for a few seconds, and part.

Ellie was right, there is a key under the doormat. It gives Chuck a weird sensation to insert it in the lock and turn it - he's probably done it a lot of times before, but he seriously doubts he has ever entered his own living room with such a sense of concern and anticipation. He looks around, his eyes trying to catch even the most hidden detail in the room, his mind trying so desperately to flash on something - the posters on the walls, some ornament, the weird pink flamingo in the kitchen area, _anything_... But as expected, nothing happens. It doesn't let this first failure discourage him, anyway. _Maybe I should check my bedroom_, he thinks. After all it's pretty safe to suppose that the things that are most important to him are all there.

When he reaches the room's door, an unexpected noise startles him. Someone's inside. Luckily for him the door is half open, so he can peek inside without being noticed.

It's a woman. A blond woman. _Sarah_.

She's looking at something she's got in her hand and she's crying.


	5. Chapter 4

TITLE: Sarah vs Phase Three

CHARACTERS: Sarah, Chuck

GENRE: Drama, Romance

SPOILERS: up to 409 - Chuck Versus Phase Three

SUMMARY: What if she were too late?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Chuck - I guess that's why I'm writing fanfics instead of scripts. Okay, there's also the fact that no one would ever be so desperate to hire me...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Once again it took me way too long to update, I'm sorry - there's some action coming in this chapter and like I said, I can't pull that off. What else to say... Well, we're approaching the end, so I promise you, Sarah is crying for the last time in this chapter! ;D Reviews are most appreciated - especially positive ones! xD

* * *

She doesn't know exactly why she came home right after leaving Castle, she has nothing to do here - except maybe miss Chuck, but that's something she doesn't have trouble doing anywhere else. It's unfair, when he was still there it felt like they never had enough time to just relax and be together and now that he's gone time seems to be swallowing her in its huge emptyness. She'd do anything to have a mission to distract her and give her a purpose - and most of all, to give her the chance to be with Chuck a little while more.

She misses him. Seeing him an hour a day isn't nearly enough for her, but she doesn't want to take the risk of asking Beckman to grant her longer visits to his cell. The general has recommended her to leave Chuck alone, and Sarah doesn't think it would be a good idea to disobey her orders once more. She doesn't know how Beckman would react, and the last thing she wants is to be kept away from Chuck again.

As she sits on the bed a picture on the bedside table captures her attention - _the_ picture, actually, the one in which he's holding her and they look like the happiest couple in the world. The one she'd never leave without.

She takes it in her hand, warm tears streaming slowly down her cheeks. She knows she and Chuck cannot be that happy forever, but is it really too much to ask for a chance to feel like that every once in a while? Why does their relationship have to be doomed?

"Sarah?" A voice she knows way too well suddenly drags her out of her thoughts. "Sarah, what's wrong?" Chuck enters the room, a worried expression on his face, only to freeze when he comes closer to her. "Oh God."

Sarah follows his gaze and can't help reacting the same way he did. "Oh my God..." He saw the photo. Much worse, he saw her looking at it. She stands up quickly, tense as hell and determined to hide it. "Chuck! What are you doing here?"

"What-what am _I_ doing here?" he counters. "Seriously? I have a better question for you. What are _you_ doing in what's supposed to be my bedroom, looking at a picture of us and crying?"

She opens her mouth to respond, but she doesn't really know what to say. She would never have expected him to appear just like that and start questioning her. Besides, what excuse can she possibly come up with? He saw enough to get a pretty clear picture of what's in fact been going on.

He seems even more disappointed by her silence. "Wow. I would never have expected this from you, Agent Walker. What else did you lie to me about? I never went to Stanford, did I?"

"Chuck I'm so sorry" she tries to explain. "Everything else I told you is true, I swear. And I never wanted to lie to you about... about us, but..."

She doesn't get to finish the sentence, though, because the TV in the room suddenly turns on and Beckman's voice calls her. "Agent Walker, we've got a..." She stops when she sees Chuck. "What is he doing there?"

He pales - slightly, but Sarah can notice it. "Hm... Well, actually General..."

"It was my idea" Sarah steps in. "I thought coming here might help him remember." She feels Chuck's surprised, grateful stare upon her. "And I'm sorry, I know I should have asked for your permission but for some reason we couldn't get through to you from Castle."

Beckman sighs. "Fair enough" she gives up. "We should have a talk about your perseverance to ignore your orders, Agent Walker, but luckily for you there is more important business we have to attend now." Her image on the screen becomes smaller, making space for the photo of a well-dressed man walking down a street, a cellphone on his right ear. "We believe we found who hired the two mercenaries you captured last month. He's staying in... " - another picture pops up near the other two - "... this hotel. I want you to stake out of it, capture him and take him to Castle. We need to find out who was he working for."

"Sure, General."

Sarah is about to step away when Beckman's voice stops her. "One more thing... Since you brought Chuck here, we might as well make something good out of him. Take him with you, maybe he will flash on the target."

"Yes, mam." The monitor turns off.

Chuck turns to look at her. "You shouldn't have taken the blame for me."

She shrugs. "Hey, I'm your handler, right? I'm supposed to protect you."

"Even from Beckman?" he asks, skeptical.

"Even from Beckman" she confirms with a smile that Chuck doesn't reciprocate. It would probably be too much to expect him to get over the being lied to stuff so soon. "Look..." she starts, but he cuts her off.

"Let's go. We have a bad guy to catch."

...

Sarah lowers her binoculars and falls back on her seat, a sigh escaping her lips. They've been waiting in her car for the better part of two hours and there still hasn't been any sign of the guy they have to capture. She's starting to believe he'll never show up. What is truly bothering her, though, is the tense atmosphere pervading the car. Chuck and her have only exchanged a few, detached words concerning the mission since they got there, both trying not to mention what happened back home, and she hates to have this feeling of uneasiness hanging over them.

She looks at Chuck, wishing so badly she could find the right words to make it up to him. She knows he's hurt and she can't stand the idea of that, especially when it's because of her that he's so upset. And how blame him? She knew not telling him the truth was a bad idea. Once again, she should have done what she thought was right, screw Beckman's orders.

"... Chuck?" she calls.

He turns quickly, excited. "Did you see him?"

She shakes her head. "No, I just want to talk to you... about what happened."

"I don't think now is the best time" he says, suddenly evasive again.

"Why not?" she argues. "We're stuck here anyway. And we'll have to discuss that sooner or later."

"Sarah, we're on a mission. Let's try to focus on it."

That's it, she can't take it anymore. "This is totally wrong!" she exclaims. "I'm not good at this, okay? I can't do it. I'm not supposed to be the one who always wants to talk things through, _you_ are!"

He looks at her for a long time, a countless, indistinguishable number of emotions sparkling in his eyes. Then he diverts his gaze from hers and sighs. "God I'm such an idiot." He turns to look at her again. "Look, I'm not mad at you or anything, okay? I just don't want to talk about it. Because, well... I understand. I mean, I already find it hard to believe that you could want to be with someone like me before Thailand, let alone now..."

"Chuck what are you talking about?" Sarah is shocked. She knows he's always been haunted by every sort of insecurities, but she never thought they could be the problem in this case as well. She's never been good at relationships and sometimes she has trouble understanding people, but she's pretty positive she's the only guilty one this time.

Before either of them can say anything else, the hotel's main door opens and someone - their target, Sarah immediately notices - exits it, followed by a couple of other men. They walk quickly along the sidewalk and get into a dark grey BMW parked only meters ahead of Sarah's car.

"There he is" Chuck whispers, as if he was worried they could hear him. "What now?"

Sarah turns the car key and the engine turns on with a roar. "Now we follow them. We'll catch them once they pull over."

She still hasn't told Chuck half of what she wants him to know, but for the next fifteen minutes she's too focussed on not letting the BMW slip away in the LA traffic to be able to put together the right words. And the task is way more difficult than usual: their target seems to be doing anything in its power to get out of their sight, taking sharp bends and putting as many other vehicles as it can between its pursuers and itself. _I wonder if they noticed we're following them_, she thinks.

Chuck seems to be reading her mind. "Do you think they saw us?" he asks when the BMW speeds up once more, almost leaving them behind.

"I don't..." she starts to answer, struggling to keep up with the target. Then she notices something - a sudden blink inside the car. "_Chuck get down!_" she shouts only seconds before a sharp banging fills the air and her car's windshield shatters before them.

"Dammit!" she curses. The last thing she needs are stupid criminals shooting at them. She throws a quick glance at Chuck - at least he's fine. "Take the steering wheel, Chuck" she urges him.

"What?"

"Come on, take the steering wheel! I'm going to try and stop them."

He obeys, still worried. "How?" he asks after they have switched place as best as they can.

Sarah doesn't have time to answer, though, because a second series of bullets bursts against them, this time missing her by the skin of her teeth. She's had enough. She leans out of the window, her gun in her hand, and starts to fire back. The freezing, violent wind caused by the high speed lashes her cruelly and in addition to that she knows she's completely defenseless out there, without any shelter from the enemy fire. Nevertheless the risk is worth it, because only a bunch of seconds later they hear a cry from the other car - she most likely got one of the two henchmen. The shooting comes to an end.

She falls back on her seat, breathless. "Okay, I think we've sorted them out for now" she gasps. She swallows, unable to catch her breath. "Don't let them escape."

"Got it." Chuck casts an admiring look at her. "That was amazing."

She smiles, still exhausted. "Thank you."

They keep driving in silence, watching out for other bullets - but their target seems to have lost any desire to fight and to be just trying to escape now. A hard thing to do, since no matter what Chuck is always behind it. Sarah never thought he'd so good at tailing - or chasing, in this case.

"Was there something you wanted to tell me?" Chuck asks after a little while.

She nods. "Yes..." She takes a deep breath, looking for the right words to say. "I'm sorry I had to lie to you, Chuck. But it's not as you think, the only reason why I did it is that..."

Her words are smothered by an unexpected, loud crash as the car that has been running by their side for the last few minutes abruptly moves outside the lane to come smashing into them. Sarah's car is pushed violently toward the sidewalk, until it crashes against a shop window and stops there, wrecked.

Coughing and shaking away the shards of the broken window Chuck gets out of the remains of the car, just in time to see the car that bumped into them swerve and disappear into the night. His head pounds even more painfully as he catches a glimpse of its license plate and the Intersect gets working, showing him confused images of a Russian building and people murdered in cold blood. He shivers. _Volkoff._

"Sarah, I think I know who they were working for..." he begins, his voice still trembling a little after the shock.

No one replies.

"Sarah...?" He turns to look at the car's wreckage, desperately trying to find a sign her, fear growing into him with every second passing. "Sarah! Sarah where are you?"

He finally sees her, lying motionless some meters away - the force of the impact must have chucked her out of the car. He runs to her side, thinking the worst and trying to deny it at the same time. "Sarah!" he calls her, turning her to see her bruised face. Thank God she's still breathing, but she has lost consciousness. "Sarah it's Chuck, I'm here. Can you hear me?"

Before he can add anything else his fingers come across something cold around her wrist - a charm bracelet. A charm bracelet that, he notices with some sort of surprise, looks incredibly familiar. He saw it before, he's sure of it. And he's also sure that he's the one who gave it to Sarah...

_Buy More. Christmas. The two of them sitting between two DVD racks. A vague sense of fear blown out by one of hope. Her hand in his, so real, so beautiful, so perfect._

_He remembers._


	6. Chapter 5

TITLE: Sarah vs Phase Three

CHARACTERS: Sarah, Chuck

GENRE: Drama, Romance

SPOILERS: up to 409 - Chuck Versus Phase Three

SUMMARY: What if she were too late?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Chuck - I guess that's why I'm writing fanfics instead of scripts. Okay, there's also the fact that no one would ever be so desperate to hire me...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Last chapter! Wow, I have to admit I feel a little teary. Thanks so much for your amazing feedback, guys, I'd never have expected so many great people to say so many great things about something _I_ wrote ^^ Seriously, thanks again, it's been a great ride. Hope the ending doesn't disappoint you!

* * *

Sarah opens her eyes and immediately closes them again, her face twisting into a suffering grimace - even the pale grey light of dawn seems to be hurting her, adding to the pain in her head. From the glimpse she managed to catch in that split second, she must be in a hospital bed. That would make sense, considering what happened... Right? Her memory is a little blurry, but she is pretty sure she was in a car crash. Yes, she got into a car accident while chasing some bad guy with...

Her heart skips a beat. _Chuck. Oh God._ What happened to him?

She forces her eyes to open and sits up - and she sees him. He's sitting on a chair next to her bed, fast asleep, his hand resting on her pillow - how could she not notice it? More importantly, though, he looks fine, apart from a few scratches and the dirty clothes.

Sarah takes a sigh of relief. Not only he's okay, but he's probably been watching over her all night, she realizes, a grateful, fond smile shining on her lips. After all she can't imagine any other reason for him to be sleeping there, on an uncomfortable hospital chair, instead of being in bed. A part of her is tempted to wake him up and invite him to come lie next to her, but just when she's about to call his name she remembers his memory has still to come back. It's probably better to spare him the umpteenth awkward moment of the day, she decides, so she forces herself to curl up under the white, clean sheets, and to try to catch some more sleep before morning.

His hand is still on her pillow, and she can't help planting a delicate kiss on it before drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

...

When she wakes up again the sun has invaded the room with its bright light. It's about twenty to midday, or so does the clock on the wall say.

"Sarah, hey..." Chuck is by her side at once. "How are you feeling?"

She tries to sit up, determined not to make him worry any further. "Much better, thank..." Before she can even finish the sentence her arms fail her and she falls back on the bed. "Okay, actually I'm feeling a little lightheaded" she admits as Chuck makes a motion to help her. "But it's nothing serious, I promise."

He nods and comes to sit next to her. "I see... You should rest, though. I already spoke to Beckman, you can take all the time you need."

"And what about the guy we were supposed to catch?"

"What did I just say? You're not allowed to think about it, Agent Walker. Anyway don't worry" he reassures her, "I flashed on the car that crashed against us, they were working for Volkoff. Mission accomplished."

She smiles. "Looks like once again you saved the day without my help."

"Oh, come on, I would be dead if not for you!" he protests.

"Maybe..." She closes her eyes. She can't believe talking for a minute has already made her so tired. "Have you been hanging around here all night?" she asks, trying to ignore the pounding of her head.

He looks away, embarrassed. "Well, yes... I didn't feel like leaving you alone here. And I get it, it sounds pretty creepy, I just..."

Sarah takes his hand. "Thank you" she says honestly.

A wide grin spreads on his face, and she can't hold back a chuckle. "Anyway... I have great news!" Chuck adds. "I remembered something."

The news comes so unexpected to her that she sits up once again, and this time she's so excited she doesn't feel tired at all. "Really? Chuck this is amazing! How did you...?"

"This" he explains simply, taking the charm bracelet that someone laid on the bedside table. "I noticed you were wearing it after the crash and I just... remembered."

Sarah frowns. "Are you saying you flashed on it?" she asks, baffled.

"No... I mean, I don't know. All I know is I saw it and it looked familiar, and then a second later I remembered giving it to you, and where it came from and all. I still don't remember anything else though" he adds, a note of disappointment in his voice.

Sarah stays silent for a while, thoughtfully biting her lip. "Having you locked up was a terrible idea" she finally asserts. "If we want you to get your memory back you have to get out and see people, and places, and stuff. I'll tell you what, as soon as I'm out of here I'm going to show you everything and everywhere I think might help you."

"Really?" he asks with a cautious smile, shifting a little closer to her. "You know, I would love to take the Walker-Bartowski memorial tour."

She smiles back, feeling her own cheeks blush slightly. "And I would love to take you on it."

Chuck nods, his grin widening. "It's a deal then. But remember there's no rush, right now the most important thing is that you get better."

"I already do!" she protests.

"Yeah, I saw that" he teases her before glancing at the clock and standing up. "I'd better go give Beckman a decent report before she sends a whole squad here to drag me out. I'll see you later, okay?"

She shrugs. "You know where to find me."

"Right." He gives a titter. "Wow, you have no idea how good it feels. You're the one stuck here and I get to come and go whenever I..." He interrupts to dodge the pillow she threw at him.

"You're a jerk" she laughs. "I never made fun of you!"

"That's true" Chuck admits, picking up the pillow and shaking it to clean it. "But come on, you're not locked up in a tiny windowless cell. Here" he says, giving the pillow back to her. He looks in her eyes then, serious, and confesses: "You know what, no matter who's in and who's out, I hate to have to part from you."

Sarah sighs. "I know... I just hope they release me soon."

"They will" he reassures her, before adding in an excited tone: "Can't wait for our tour!"

She smiles weakly, feeling dizzy again. "Me neither."

"I'll see you soon then" he promises before turning around and walking away, leaving her alone.

...

A feeble shiver runs through Sarah's spine. The sun has barely started rising from behind the horizon and it still hasn't had the time to warm up the sand of the seaside, chilly beneath her bare feet. In spite of that, anyway, she's enjoying the stroll - after almost three days in a hospital bed, she was itching to finally get in the open air.

"Was it absolutely necessary to come here?" Chuck's voice, still drowsy, asks from behind her.

She keeps walking without turning. "Yes."

"I mean" he carries on, "we've been here before, right? That's why you took me here, right?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, well, I know you're showing me all the places we've been to and I'm more than okay with it, sounds like a great plan, but do you really think the time is going to make a difference?"

"Yes."

"Okay, fine." He runs for a few steps, just enough to catch up with her, and they keep walking together for some time while one by one, slow but unstoppable, the early rays of the morning sun start appearing from beyond the sea, turning its waters in an azure and golden aquarelle.

Sarah stops and sits and pats on the sand with her right hand, inviting Chuck to sit next to her.

"Is this it?" he asks.

She nods. "Come on, sit" she adds since he's not moving.

He sighs. "I don't remember it, Sarah" he states, disheartened. "Not at all. It's just a beach like any other. Maybe you shouldn't waste your time trying to..." His voice fades.

She looks at him, an encouraging smile on her lips. "Chuck... It's going to work, I promise."

"Come on, you can't be sure of it!" he complains.

"But I am. Trust me, Chuck."

He nods, still worried but willing to do as she asks, and comes sitting next to her.

For a long, long time they stay there, side by side, looking at the waves curling up and rising and falling and sometimes coming so close that Sarah can feel the brisk water tickling her toes. She closes her eyes, letting the world surrounding her fade away, trying to forget everything except the breeze of the dawn playing with her hair and, of course, Chuck's presence near to her - and her mind goes back to that morning of almost three years and a half ago, when the two of them have been sitting on the very same strand, both trying to find some solace after a night that, they knew it, had changed their lives forever.

When she opens her eyes again, the sun has emerged from the sea and settled on the line of the horizon, coloring the sky with the orange-yellowish tonality of its newborn light - just like on their first day, she notices with a smile. She takes a deep breath, savoring the salty scent of the sea. Chuck was right, the time of the day they got there was most likely irrelevant to him - she's the one who needed that. She needed to be sitting on the seaside at dawn with him again. She needed everything to be as magical as it had been on that day, and possibly even more.

And right then, as if he understood how much she wants the moment to be perfect, Chuck turns to look at her. "Sarah... I trust you" he says simply.

It takes her a couple of seconds to realize what he's talking about, and when she does she smiles, thrilled. "Did you...?"

"Yep" he confirms. And then, almost in an undertone: "I'm sorry, Sarah, I should have believed you from the beginning. I honestly don't know how after all this time I still manage to forget that you always end up being right."

She chuckles. "It's okay, Chuck" she reassures him, happiness and satisfaction overwhelming her. They keep looking at the sunrise for a while, her hand in his, until she remembers how tired he claimed to be before and asks: "We can go back home now, if you want to."

"Not yet" is the unexpected reply. "There's still something I need to do here."

Before she can ask for any clarification he has pressed his lips against hers in a cautious, tender kiss. After all that's happened between them lately she'd expect it to feel weird, but to her surprise and relief it doesn't. It's Chuck, her Chuck, that's kissing her, and God knows how much she has missed that. How much she has missed him. She pulls him closer, deepening the kiss, trying to lose herself completely in the adorable, comfortable feeling of his tongue in her mouth and his hands in her hair. She hasn't felt this good and safe in months.

Finally they break the kiss and she rests her head on his shoulder, distractedly gazing at the horizon, feeling like jumping and dancing and screaming at the world her excitement - so it's true, Chuck can remember! It's going to take a lot of time and effort from both of them, but who cares? There's a way she can help him, and she won't stop until she has given him his memories back, each and every one of them. They're still far, far away from happily ever after, she's aware of that, but he's by her side, and that's all that matters to her right now.


End file.
